Please stay with me as I try to explain my complicated thoughts.
Oh, and if you can’t be bothered reading about why the typical ‘bad boy’ is only an illusion and just want answers about how to act like, what I have called, ‘the bad boy association’, go to the part of this text with the bold heading.
It is my belief that women aren’t attracted to the bad boy but instead are attracted to a certain group of personality traits which have simply been associated with the word ‘bad boy’.
This association has been created through books and movies. For example, I don’t know a woman who does not have Wattpad on her phone nowadays, and for those who don’t know, Wattpad is an app and website where users can create stories and share them for free for other users to read. Right now, Wattpad is the epitome of cliche romance novels about bad boys, millionaires, werewolves, vampires, the popular it-boy in school etc. There is no cliche that you can think of that is not somewhere on Wattpad, and so many women read these novels and create this image of the perfect man. I’m especially guilty of this.
Furthermore, novels which have been made into movies or series such as Fifty Shades of Grey, Twilight, The Hunger Games, Arrow, The Vampire Diaries, Shadow Hunters, do I really need to go on? Back to my point, these movies and novels have some seriously idealistic male characters whom the protagonist will fall in love with, and this idealistic man always ends up reciprocating these emotions.
To strengthen my point, I’d like to enlighten everyone about my addiction to cheesy romance novels in order to show that I can reliably talk about my next argument. I’ve used Wattpad for just over five years now (that’s a long ass time), and back when I had just signed up, the recommended, most liked, most starred, winner of countless Wattpad awards were all novels about a bad boy and a good girl. So, this is where the group of personality traits stemmed from and because ‘bad boys’ were the beginning of the cliche romance of this generation, the group of personality traits became associated with this term, ‘bad boy’.
WHAT MAKES A GOOD ‘BAD BOY’?
First of all, it should have been said that the ‘bad boy association’ is not an act. No woman wants a man who must pretend to gain her interest.
Now, to answer your question, the way I see it, you aren’t actually looking to act like a ‘bad boy’, you’re just wondering what it is about the ‘association with bad boys’ that women are so attracted to, so I’ll tell you what makes a good ‘bad boy association’.
He wears confidence like it’s a second skin and isn’t afraid to take charge of a situation when its needed. Hell, he’s borderline arrogant with his irresistible, yet frustrating, smirks that drive you crazy.
He’s the kind of man that you notice when you first enter the room because, out of the many other people in the crowd, he just has this air of confidence and charisma around him.
You notice it instantly from the way he holds himself and how he is communicating with the people around him. You notice it when you talk to him because he’s always smiling and searching for your eyes to engage you in his world. Please note that often men are described as cold, hard and ruthless business tycoons, yet despite that they are interested in the main character as if they’re soulmates.
The only reason that girl is even remotely attracted to this tall and brooding man to start with is because he is described as sexy as hell with tattoos for sleeves and jawlines sharp enough to rival a sushi knife!
“He doesn’t give a rat’s ass about me” said no woman in a successful relationship ever! Yet it is a most notable trait of your typical bad boy.
He doesn’t care if you love him or not; he didn’t ask for your attention; he’s unavailable (not in the relationship-sense), and it makes you crazy for him because he’s off-limits, forbidden and its intriguing. You want to get to know him; you want to know what made him this closed off. He’s mysterious. He reveals just enough information about himself to keep you salivating for more.
At this point, he’s probably playing you unless he’s a fictional character and just so happens to be “inexplicably drawn to you”. Here is what you should take from this: Women like a good mystery. They don’t like having everything handed to them on a silver platter and although many are fascinated by the idea of being treated like a princess, they would absolutely hate it you dropped the L-bomb after your second week of seeing each other. You’re going to scare her away with your clingy-ness and willingness to pamper her 24/7. She’s going to think you’re a damn pussy. Find a healthy mix between being a stoic, manly man and a loving and caring person.
He’s ambitious, not obsessive, ambitious. Usually, what the woman likes is to feel like she is the only one in his world. She would hate it if you have a million other girls waiting in line, so the feeling of being chased by a man is thrilling. It’s a feeling of power over a man’s heart (and, if not reciprocated by the woman, can turn out badly for the man, hence be cautious about who you chase), and it excites her. She knows, by the amount of attention you give her, compared to other women, that you want her even if you haven’t made it clear vocally. It’s the feeling of being wanted. Make her feel wanted.
He embodies masculinity by being confident and off-limits. The only emotion he wears on his sleeve is confidence, and it’s rolling off him in waves. He doesn’t show his vulnerable side to just anyone, and women know this; they know that men are just human after all, and they all have a vulnerability that isn’t shown often. She wants to be his confidant, his rock, the person to take care of him when he can’t be strong. The tougher and stronger his exterior is simply tells a woman that he’s either a total asshole or covering up his emotions (not that he’s a total crybaby on the inside), and she wants to care for this side of him. She wants to be special enough to have him open up to her.
There’s, of course, a lot more to it than that, but I urge you to go beyond this bad boy association and realize that women just want someone with a good sense of humor and confidence who will love her unconditionally as she will love him.